You came here to talk.
Instead, the moment I’d seen her—disheveled hair, worry etched on her face—all my plans collapsed under the weight of longing. I’d pounced on her like an animal, desperate to banish my own misery.
She’d let me, too, matching my hunger. I should feel guilty, but the truth is, the guilt had been eating at me for so long, one more piece hardly registered. Besides, I was too busy savoring the feeling of her body pressed against mine, the quiet moans that told me she’d missed me as much as I’d missed her.
God, I’m selfish, I thought, brushing a strand of hair off her cheek. It’s time. I can’t leave her in the dark anymore.
She offered a small, uncertain smile. “You said you couldn’t talk before.” Her tone was gentle, but I felt the underlying demand. She deserved the truth.
“I was afraid if I opened my mouth, I’d break.” My throat felt thick, recalling how I’d stormed into her place, physically starving for contact. “I’m sorry I jumped you like that. I planned on sitting you down, explaining everything about Leonardo…”
She squeezed my hand. “And yet here we are. Naked in my bed.” Her attempt at levity didn’t hide the concern in her eyes.
I managed a wry smile, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “I know. I’m an idiot. You deserve better than me mauling you every time I feel cornered.”
A gentle laugh escaped her, tension easing a bit. “Dom, I would’ve kicked you out if I didn’t want you. But…I need to know what’s going on.” With that, she settled against the pillows, gaze fixed on me. No more stalling, her face seemed to say.
I raked a hand through my hair, silently cursing the tightness in my chest. “Right. Well, I guess I should start with Jodie, my wife. She died years ago—breast cancer.”
Ella’s breath caught. “You never told me that part before.”
I nodded, jaw tense. “I hate thinking about it. But you deserve to know. She had it, and she hid it from me for a long time. I was so focused on work, surgeries, building my reputation…I barely noticed she was losing weight, or was exhausted all the time. She didn’t come to me when she found the lump. She scheduled her own appointments, started chemo without a word.”
“But that…how could she hide chemo? She’d need a port for chemo, right?”
I was relieved she knew some things about the process. Explaining things would slow the conversation. “Not everyone tolerates a port. Moreover, I probably wouldn’t have seen it.” I swallowed hard. “Jodie and I had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for a while, due to my schedule and being on-call. She was a light sleeper, so it made sense for us to have our own bedrooms…which meant our sex life was sporadic, at the best of times. It was winter when she was in treatment, and her long sleeves hid the bruising from the IVs.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“So am I.”
She stroked my arm. “Go on. If you want to.”
My hand curled into a fist on the sheet, old rage and guilt rising. “When it finally came out, she said she didn’t want to bother me. That my work was obviously more important to me, as I’d been ignoring our family for my work. By the time I realized what was happening, her body was so ravaged by everything that there was nothing my colleagues could do.”
Ella’s eyes glistened with sympathy. “Dom…that’s terrible.”
“Leonardo was just a kid. He was old enough to see me as the big-shot doctor who didn’t save his mom. And I guess part of him needed someone to blame—cancer doesn’t have a face you can yell at. So, he picked my face. He kept saying, ‘You’re a doctor, how could you not know she was dying?’ Honestly…I ask myself that every day.”
My voice cracked on the last word, shame flickering through me. Ella sat up, sliding a soothing hand over my arm. I glanced away, focusing on the swirl of the bedsheets. “After that, everything unraveled,” I murmured. “Leonardo grew up angry. Gina tried to keep the peace, but he just…he needed an enemy, and I was there.”
Ella exhaled, eyes shadowed. “So this is why he hates you so much. On top of the absentee father thing, he blames you for her, too.”
I scoffed, running a hand over my stubbled chin. “Finding out I knocked up his ex-girlfriend didn’t help. But that’s a separate problem. His resentment runs deep, from way back.”
She gave a tiny nod, fingers lacing with mine. “You said you told him about us at brunch. How bad was it?”
My jaw tensed. “He walked out. He’s barely responding to Gina, and not at all to me. I’ve tried everything—calls, texts, showing up at his place. He’s stonewalling me. Blames me for everything bad in his life, I suppose.”
Ella closed her eyes momentarily. “God, I feel like this is my fault for hooking up with him in the first place.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. His meltdown isn’t about you. If it wasn’t you, he’d find another reason to lash out at me. This is old wounds.”
“Still, it can’t be helping that I’m, well…me.”
A reluctant chuckle rumbled in my chest. “Probably not. But Leonardo has to get past it. I’m not leaving you or our girls just because he’s throwing another tantrum.”
Ella’s expression softened at that, and a faint blush colored her cheeks. She fiddled with a loose thread on the pillow. “You sure? Because he might never accept this.”
I grunted, shifting to face her fully. My fingers toyed with a strand of her hair, heart pounding with the gravity of what I was about to say. “I’m sure,” I said simply, letting the truth resonate. “Look, I love him—he’s my son. But I won’t let him dictate my life. I spent too many years chasing after everything—my career, my kids’ future—only to realize I had never actually lived.”
She studied me, brow furrowed. “What do you mean about their future? How do you chase it? That’s kind of their job. It’s their lives.”
A tight smile pulled at my lips. “I told them both that they had to get medical degrees if they wanted full access to their trust funds. I figured it was a safety net. The idea was, get the degree, have it as backup, then do what you want.”
Ella blinked in surprise. “And they didn’t do it?”
I shrugged. “They did, actually. But afterward, Leonardo dove into art—and a shit-ton of questionable habits—and Gina took up interior design. Honestly, I supported them, even if it made me roll my eyes at times. The trust funds let them chase their passions, something I wished I’d been able to do when I was their age.”
She considered that, biting her lip. “So money isn’t an issue for them.”
I huffed a silent laugh. “Not at all. Gina’s thriving—she’s got a big name among Manhattan’s elite, magazines want her, TV channels want her. She’s living the dream. Leonardo…less so, but still afloat, thanks to the trust. And I find myself wishing I could just set up a trust for you, so you don’t have to stress about anything.”
Her eyes widened, a spark of indignation flashing. “Dom, don’t even think about it. I’m not some…charity case.”
I raised both hands in surrender, a wry grin crossing my face. “I know. You’re too damn proud. Just telling you where my head’s at—sometimes I want to fix everything with money, but I realize I can’t.”
Ella relaxed, twining her fingers with mine again. “I appreciate the thought, though.”
Silence settled, but a gentler one. The gloom in my chest eased, replaced by a quiet warmth that Ella radiated even in her frustrations. I inhaled, letting the faint baby-powder scent from the nursery drift through the door. This is what I want—peace.
She angled her head, giving me a searching look. “So…about Seth. Carrie’s husband. He knows about you and me now, because Carrie knows.”
“I knew it’d come out sooner or later. How did the conversation go?”
A rueful snort escaped her. “She was mad I’d lied to her. But mostly, I’m worried Seth will use your renewed fatherhood as an excuse to block your admin position.”
An edge of determination flared in me. “Let him try. I’m not ashamed of having newborns, or of being in love with you. If the board wants to question my dedication, they can watch me outwork every damn candidate.”
Ella’s lips parted, her eyes widening. “You’re in love with me?” she echoed softly, voice a bit wobbly.
My chest tightened, the words hanging in the space between us. Did I just say it outright? No going back now. “Yes,” I said, forcing myself to meet her eyes. “I am.”
For a heartbeat, she stared at me, cheeks flushing. Then she let out a shaky laugh, tears glistening. “Well, I’m in love with you, too, you confusing bastard.”
I laughed, unable to hold it back. She loves me back. I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face, or the way my heart drummed with renewed heat. “That’s…good to hear.”
She smirked, shifting closer, letting her thigh press against mine. “So, Dr. Mortoli,” she teased in a low murmur, “you want to show me how much?”
After we made love, I leaned down, kissing Ella’s temple, inhaling the faint trace of vanilla in her hair. She snuggled closer, half-drifting. My own pulse slowed, warmth pooling in my chest. I will do everything in my power to keep this woman and our children safe from the storms.
Moments later, her breathing evened out, and I felt sleep tugging at me. I let my mind wander to Jodie, to my son, to everything undone. But the heaviness felt more bearable now, cushioned by Ella’s breathing’s steady rise and fall. I’m not alone anymore.
And as I finally drifted off, I realized that, for all my regrets and mistakes, I could still forge a new beginning with Ella, building a family that wouldn’t be shattered by silence or secrets. We’d face the ghosts, the resentments, the drama—all of it. Because I had her, and for once, I wouldn’t let go.
I should have done this with Jodie. That was my biggest regret regarding my past. If I’d taken the time to truly be with her, to be by her side, she might still be alive. It ate at me every day.
And it should.
I’ll never take Ella for granted the way I did Jodie. I’ve learned that lesson. Sure, I didn’t text her more than a few words in the past couple of days, but that was a temporary thing, and not at all how I planned to operate going forward.
With Ella, I will be a real partner to her. A real father to the twins, too. This is my second chance, and I will not screw it up.
