Wednesday
Jamey’s tiny hands clutched his ice cream cone, the green mint chocolate chip leaking out of the bottom and coating his hands and arms. He grinned up at me as I snapped a photo, quickly texting it to Hudson before sliding my phone back into my pocket.
“Sophie?”
I turned, one hand on Jamey’s shoulder, and blinked in confusion as Lisa walked up to us. “Hey,” I smiled, my arm nearly twisting as Jamey tucked himself behind my legs. “What are you doing here?”
“Just got a trim,” she chirped. Her thumb jutted out behind her, toward the hair salon next door to the ice cream shop. “I think they went too short though.”
“It looks great.” I looked down at Jamey, his mouth hovering over the minty ice cream, his big green eyes staring up at me. “Jamey, this is my friend, Lisa. Lisa, this is Jamey, Hudson’s son.”
Lisa grinned at him as she squatted down in front of him, placing herself at his height. “Hi, Jamey. Aren’t you adorable.” She glanced up at me, her smile a little forced. Lisa had never been great with kids, and she didn’t want any of her own, so it made sense. I’d never judged her for it.
“He’s a little shy,” I explained, taking a step to the side so Jamey couldn’t hide behind me any longer.
“What kind of ice cream is that?”
“Mint chocolate chip,” he mumbled, holding it out a little toward her. “You can try it if you want.”
Lisa’s lower lip poked out, her eyes going soft. “That is so sweet, Jamey, but I don’t like ice cream. Thank you, though.”
Jamey glanced at me in confusion before returning to licking at his ice cream. I laughed awkwardly, holding out a hand to Lisa to help her stand back up, and she gladly took it.
“Are you free tonight? Maybe we could meet up for drinks or something.” Lisa looked at me hopefully, her gaze only occasionally glancing down at Jamey with a what the fuck expression. “I need a catch up.”
“Sure,” I smiled. “Is seven okay?”
Lisa rolled her eyes as she adjusted the purse on her shoulder. “Bit early, but I guess it’s fine.”
————
PAW Patrol pencil in hand, it was the only one I could find, and sketchbook on the counter, I found it shockingly easy to design with cartoons playing in the background. Mom had been right when she told me that tuning it out became easy when I was a kid, and I wondered if it was becoming the same for me, if it would be the same for me when I had one of my own.
By the time the front door opened, I’d drawn roughly six designs, all perfect for hiding a baby bump or complementing it. I’d even adjusted the little models to have one.
“Daddy!”
Jamey ran past me, his socks sliding on the slick floor. “Jamey! Slow down!”
He slammed into his father at light speed, nearly knocking Hudson over. “Hey, bud,” Hudson smiled, tight-lipped and almost fake, but not enough for Jamey to notice. Odd.
I hopped down from the high-top seat, closed my sketchbook, and returned the pencil to the everything-lives-in-here drawer. I watched as Hudson picked up his son, giving him a tight hug and holding him to his chest, as I made my way over. “Jamey had some ice cream this afternoon so he might be a bit rambunctious.”
“That’s fine.”
I stared up at Hudson, his face unreadable, his response too quick, too short. “He was very brave today, though. He met one of my friends and even offered her some of his ice cream.”
“That’s great.” Hudson passed me, his mind elsewhere as he walked toward the kitchen, setting Jamey down in the seat I’d just been sitting in.
Jamey didn’t seem to notice the change in demeanor as his father opened up the fridge and plucked out a bottle of wine. I took a step toward them, and Hudson’s gaze landed directly on me, stopping me in my tracks.
“Thanks for watching him today.”
Oh.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Oh.
I took a step back toward the door, the awkwardness that was hanging in the air so thick I could slice it with a knife.
“Okay,” I said quietly, showing a little too much disappointment for my own good. I slid my feet into my slippers and picked up my bag, watching as Hudson turned away from me, picking out a wine glass from the cupboard. “Bye, Jamey.”
“Bye, Sophie!” He shouted, his little hand waving furiously, his grin wide enough to split my heart in two.
I tried not to think about how much it hurt as I walked out the door, back toward my condo and away from the two of them. I had two hours to kill until meeting up with Lisa, two hours I’d thought I would be spending with Hudson and Jamey. But it was fine. Totally fine. I could work on my sketches and take my time getting ready for the night ahead.
It was fine.
Totally, completely fine.
————
“You’re doing what?” I asked.
Lisa cackled as she leaned back in her seat, the blues and pinks of her cocktail nearly spilling out of her hand. “You don’t have to react like that.”
“You’re sleeping with a professor.”
“It’s not like I’m still in school!”
“Yeah, but you were up until, what, a year ago?”
She stifled her laugh as she took a gulp through her straw, careful not to let it explode out of her nostrils. “He was never my professor. Well, I guess he is now. But he wasn’t before. Besides, he teaches at Harvard. I wouldn’t have ever crossed paths with him at Northeastern.”
“What does he teach?” I asked, narrowing my gaze at her. I took a hefty sip from my glass of wine.
“I…” Lisa looked down at her drink, wracking her mind for the answer, but came up short. She snorted. “I have no idea.”
“Oh my god.”
“What?”
“This has been going on for months and you don’t even know what he teaches?”
She contained her giggles as she looked across the table at me, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against the vinyl coating. “Nope.”
“And why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I wanted to wait until I knew it was… serious. I really like him.” She smiled as she fished out her phone, flicking across the screen until she found what she was looking for, sliding it across the table toward me. A very handsome man looked back at me, taking up the majority of the screen, with Lisa’s blonde hair poking up from the side. She’d never been good at taking selfies. “Look how cute he is.”
I laughed as I flicked to the next picture, immediately regretting it as the horrible selfie was replaced with what was practically a nude, Lisa’s toned body covered in red lingerie as she laid back on plush sheets. I turned off the screen and slid it back across the table.
“How are things with your fertility doctor?” She asked, not even mentioning the nude she’d seen me flick to.
“Uh, yeah, good, I think.”
“Have you fucked him again or are you keeping those walls up?” She smirked at me as she sipped from her straw.
“I haven’t slept with him again, no,” I laughed, my cheeks heating at the thought of it. “We came close, though. Thankfully, Jamey woke up and we had to stop.”
“Sophie!” She exclaimed, her eyes wide and her mouth split in a massive grin.
“Dinner with my parents on Friday will be interesting.”
“Oh my god, you’re going to blow it. I can already tell,” she giggled, keeping her straw between her teeth. “Or maybe you’ll actually be able to sell it, based on how easily you fall into him.”
“Oh shut up. If you were constantly around him, you’d want him too,” I joked, sending her a wink. “He’s bringing Jamey, though, so we need to keep our distance. I don’t want to confuse him. And I haven’t even told my parents about Jamey yet, so that’s going to be hellish. Fingers crossed they don’t condemn him as a Satanist or something.”
Lisa chuckled, but the idea wasn’t all that insane. They could very well react badly to all of it, telling me I was setting myself up for failure for ‘marrying’ someone with a child already. They would see through all of it when they asked him what his profession was. It made me nauseous to imagine. What if it was real? Would they react the same way?
It’s not real, so it doesn’t matter.
“At least the ring is supposed to be delivered tomorrow,” I said, giving her a half smile, but I was too full of worry to mean it. What if Hudson stood me up? He didn’t seem happy to see me earlier. Sure, he could have had a particularly horrible day at work, but he’d never acted like that before. It hurt, and it shouldn’t have, but it pierced me just the same. I desperately wanted it not to bother me.
I knew though, deep down, that it wouldn’t stop until he was normal with me again. That was all I wanted. Just, normalcy.
Right?
