Monday
Looking after Jamey while pregnant was an entirely new experience. It put a lot of things into perspective and made me consider how I’d parent a child in the situations we got into, more so than it had when I’d just been trying. It felt more natural, more motherly, and I hoped he didn’t notice the shift.
“So, I was thinking after we finish lunch, maybe you could watch some TV while I get some work done?” I plopped his plate of food down in front of him, the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and raw baby carrots rolling around on the plate. I was already having cravings, and nuggets weren’t going to cut it for me.
Jamey’s little smile turned into a pouty face. “But I wanted to play spaceships with you.”
“We can play spaceships later on this afternoon, okay?” I offered, sliding him his little dipping bowl of ranch. “I’ve got some designs I need to make. You can always draw some up for me if you’d like. I’m sure my clients would love them.” It was a lie, but it would at least interest him.
“Okay!”
A knock at the door had me spinning around from where I stood. I glanced at the clock, it was only twelve-thirty. Hudson definitely wasn’t back yet, he’d have texted me if he was leaving early.
Jamey didn’t seem concerned in the slightest as I walked across the house, his attention fully focused on his nuggets and carrots, and I wished right about then that Hudson had given me access to his doorbell camera.
Peeking through the glass at the top of the door, I could see a mop of bright blonde hair, tied up neatly in a high bun. Feeling slightly less worried that it wasn’t a man coming to murder us both, I opened the door, surprised to find Hudson’s mother on the other side.
“Oh, hi, Mrs. Brady.” I smiled at her, taking a step back and letting her through. I suddenly wished I’d dressed nicer—I was in lounging clothes, my go-to for work and watching Jamey. My leggings and Hudson’s Harvard sweatshirt weren’t exactly the high-brow attire she went for.
“Oh, please, call me Angela,” she smiled, her eyes glancing down at my outfit and only briefly showing a flicker of disapproval. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her, and Jamey grinned at her with food in his mouth. “Hi, honey! You left your bear at my house so I thought I’d bring it back to you.”
“Oh, how sweet of you.” I lead her toward the kitchen, feeling far more awkward than I should have. At least when I met her the first time, Hudson was there as a buffer. “Do you want something to eat? I was about to cook something for myself but I can make you something too.”
“Oh, I’m alright, thank you.” She sat down next to Jamey on one of the high-top seats of the breakfast bar, plucking a carrot off his plate and popping it into her mouth. “I’m surprised you’re hungry,” she said, her gaze landing on me.
The fuck does that mean? I haven’t put on any weight since I saw her last. It’s way too early to show. “Oh, uh, I haven’t had breakfast yet so…”
She nodded, ruffling Jamey’s hair as he finished off his carrots and started eating the last of his nuggets. “Congratulations, by the way.”
“Thank you,” I grinned, shoving my bare hand devoid of any ring into the pocket of the hoodie. I hadn’t been expecting her and the ring was tucked away at home in my jewelry case upstairs. But she had seen me since we’d gotten ‘engaged’ and already congratulated me so what was she congratulating me for now?
“How are you feeling?”
I blinked at her. Did Hudson tell her I was sick or something last week? So that’s why she’d been watching Jamey? “I’m fine,” I said. “A, uh, bit better now.” Just play along. I threw in a cough for good measure.
“No morning sickness or anything?”
Fuck.
He’d told her. He’d fucking told her. Heat spread in my cheeks out of annoyance, but I played it off, covering with a light laugh as I glanced at Jamey. I hoped he didn’t know what morning sickness meant. “I’ve had a bit, but not too badly. I’m sure it’ll hit me eventually.”
“Probably. I’m so excited for you two, though. I hope you know that.”
I gave her a tight smile, my stomach already swirling, but not from nausea. No, this was irritation. “Thank you. I’m excited too.”
————
After Angela left, I’d had plenty of time to stew in my own annoyance. I didn’t want to be angry at Hudson again, not right after we’d come out of an argument and made peace but come on. I hadn’t even told my parents yet. This was my pregnancy, not his. I got to decide when and how we would tell people, not him, and now that his mother knew, I would inevitably have to tell my parents sooner rather than later before the two of them talked. If I knew one thing for certain, I knew my mother would have my head if she found out from a friend rather than her own daughter. Hudson was interfering in my life, making this far more difficult than I needed it to be just because he, like our mothers, couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut.
I was on my feet the moment I heard the door open.
The look on Hudson’s face as I rounded the corner of the living room told me he knew just how annoyed I was. “Outside,” I snapped, pointing behind him at the open front door. Jamey was well and truly engrossed in his show, he’d be fine for a few minutes.
Hudson didn’t say a word as he turned around, his scrubs pulling annoyingly at the back of his thighs and showing far too much of the muscle beneath them. I followed him out, shutting the door a little too aggressively behind me, but fuck it, I was annoyed.
“Your mom stopped by today.” I crossed my arms over my chest as he turned to face me, all of that confidence and bravado disappearing.
“Shit.”
“Shit, indeed, Hudson. Want to explain to me how she knows I’m pregnant?”
He sighed as he leaned against one of the pillars of his front porch. “I’m sorry. I picked up Jamey yesterday from their house and it just… came out.”
“It just ‘came out’? Are you fucking for real?” I stepped toward him, getting into his personal space, and he didn’t flinch. “You didn’t even tell me. You didn’t even ask. This is my pregnancy, Hudson, not yours. You don’t get to decide when it’s okay to tell people.”
He glared down at me, his expression shifting from sheepishness and more towards irritation. He didn’t get to be fucking annoyed. That was all mine. “It’s my baby too, Sophie. You don’t get to make every single decision. I admit I should have told you and that I should have asked, but surely we should have discussed this already.”
“When have we had the time?” I challenged. “You found out last, what, Tuesday? And then we spent our time arguing. We’ve barely had a moment to even decide how we’re going to do this, let alone talk about when we’re going to tell people. You realize I have to tell my parents now, right?”
“You can tell them on your own time—”
“No, I can’t,” I spat, jabbing one finger into his too-toned chest. “Your mother will tell mine. I don’t get to make that decision now because you took it away from me.”
His eyes went wide as he realized his mistake. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think—”
“No, you didn’t. If you can’t let me do this on my terms then I don’t know if this is going to work.”
The little bit of remorse vanished from his face at my words, and immediately, I wanted to take them back. I knew I couldn’t. “Don’t fucking threaten me with that shit. I messed up, I know that, but you can’t be throwing that around every time as if it’s some trump card. I helped create that child growing inside of you, Sophie. I want to be involved. I want to be a father to it. I want to be in both of your lives. What more do you want from me? I can’t be perfect every moment of the day.”
“I want you to keep your fucking mouth shut until I say it’s okay to tell people. We’re still in the time frame where something could go wrong. I could lose it, or something could occur to where I’d have to terminate it. We don’t know yet. And all of this goddamn stress you’re filling me with is certainly not helping.” I took a step back, needing space again. I had to watch my words, I couldn’t let myself spit the venom that was bubbling in me. But the space wasn’t enough.
“I’m sorry about that. We need to sit down and talk all of this out, start to finish,” he offered. “I can order us takeout tonight, we can chat after Jamey goes to bed. Okay?”
I shook my head, taking another step back. “No, I need to go home. I need space.”
He sighed, his jaw hardening as he looked at me with pure exhaustion. “Sophie.”
“I need to go home,” I repeated. One more step back, and then another, and I was off the porch and closer to my own house. “I need time.”
