I can’t think straight.
My forehead rests against the shower tiles as I mentally bash myself, inner Stacey calling me every shameful word under the sun. Yet I’m fighting between smiling and breaking down.
Oh God. I fucked Kade. Or… he fucked me. Again.
Jesus. What were we thinking?
My mind goes over everything while I watch water swirl down the drain.
Kade is using my phone – I assume in private mode – talking to Dez and Base. I made sure I deleted every single message Chris sent, and I’m praying he doesn’t reach out while Kade has it.
He lets out a deep chuckle, and his tone is warm when he tells them he’ll meet up with them tomorrow, that they’ll go out and party.
The area between my legs is aching as I rinse the conditioner from my hair and scrub the sweat from my body, my skin sizzling with the after-effects of multiple orgasms from my ex.
After agreeing to hang out with him for a little while, he pinned me to the couch and made me unravel again. His fingers know exactly how to drive me insane, and I think if I cum once more, I’ll pass out.
The tremble in my bones is still present as I lather soap into my skin, jumping as Kade opens the door and casually strolls in wearing a towel around his waist.
“Hey! You can’t just walk in here while I’m showering!”
Confused, he raises a brow through the lightly steamed glass. “I was just inside you.”
“So?”
Silence, and then he opens the bathroom door again to leave. “Hurry up.”
Kade lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling, his fingers gliding over his naked chest repeatedly as I leave the bathroom. Dressed, my wet hair in a ponytail, I grab my phone and check the notifications.
“You’re good. No boyfriends tried to contact you.”
I scoff and pull on my shoes. “I’ll go get your clothes.”
Kade says nothing as I leave the room. I make my way down the hallway, pull out the piece of paper his mother gave me and quickly type the number scribbled on it into my phone.
It answers on the first ring. “Aria?”
I clear my throat. “It’s Stacey.”
“Ah. What can I do for you, little one?”
I skip the elevator and take the stairs to make sure I don’t lose my signal. “I’m in a hotel room with Kade.”
“You aren’t about to tell me you’ve been fucking my son all night, are you?”
I’m stunned into silence.
“What do you want?” he asks when I fail to respond.
“I was supposed to go home with Luciella, and he called me. He… he’d taken something, a drug, and was in a bad way.” My feet carry me down each flight of stairs. “I got to him the same time as his assistant. He was so messed up he didn’t know who I was. He thought I paid to… to have sex with him.”
Tobias stays quiet, his breathing all I can hear.
I keep going as I descend the steps. “He was covered in blood too. His assistant said he shot someone he shouldn’t have.”
Voice low, Tobias asks, “He has an assistant?”
I stop walking. “That’s your question? He shot someone, Tobias.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
“No. He was hallucinating quite badly and kept asking me how much I paid and if I’d pretend to her we had sex.”
I can’t believe I’m talking about this with him.
“Who’s her?” he asks.
“I don’t know. He called her the she-devil.”
“Anything else?”
“Just that he gets paid to kill and… I guess he’s a male prostitute, but I’m not fully sure on that part.” I hate myself for telling his dad, but how else can I help him? Tobias is my only shot at getting Kade out of this. “He wants me to stay with him until I fly home, so he can hide with me.”
“Hide from who?”
“I don’t know,” I reply, handing my card to the receptionist with the receipt for Kade’s clothes.
Kade’s father doesn’t respond.
I chew my lip.
“I think the old Kade is still there,” I say. “I can try to find out more today.”
“Okay. Stay safe, little one.”
The call ends as the receptionist hands over the clothes, and I make my way back to the room.
Kade doesn’t speak as I toss him the bag and head for the sofa, so I can message my friends and ask how their day has been.
We have a chat between the three of us, and Lu sends screenshots of a conversation between her and Base – him calling her Moodypants and telling her she’s missing out by refusing to go on a date with him.
Lu: Can you believe this guy?
Ty: Moodypants is funny though.
Lu: Don’t you dare tell him that or I’ll never hear the end of it.
Me: Why are you two talking to each other if you’re together?
Ty: She’s been in the bathroom forever.
Lu: Hey! Anyway, what should I do? Block him? Tell Kade? Threaten him with my father?
Ty: You could say yes?
Me: I agree with Tylar.
Lu: I’ll pretend neither of you just said that. Do you both forget who we’re talking about here? He flirts with my mum and Ewan, for God’s sake!
Ty: Um, hello? Have you seen Ewan?
Me: You have kissed Base before.
Lu: Stop talking about my stepdad, Tylar. And a dare doesn’t count!
Ty: Whatever you say, Moodypants.
Lu: Ahhh!
I chuckle at the pair bickering. As much as I wish I was with them, I’m still feeling butterflies that Kade is in the bathroom, only ten steps from the couch. I keep battling a grin, remembering his hands and mouth all over me, at the same time as scolding myself for letting it happen.
My friends are kind of pissed at me for vanishing – they think I left my passport behind. But Ty knows the truth – she knows I’m with Kade and told me to enjoy myself while I can. She knows as soon as we’re back in Scotland, normality will settle in, and the spell will break.
My phone dings again, and my heart sinks, blood draining from my face as Chris texts from another new contact.
Unknown: I’m sorry, okay? I’m so fucking sorry for the way I’ve been with you. How come Kyle gets all your sisterly love and I get tossed to the side? It’s always been that way. My own mother prefers you and my brother. Do you let Kyle touch you? Do you let him sleep beside you and hold him? Have you fucked him? You smile at Kyle a lot. I wish you’d smile at me the same way.
Unknown: I’m in your bed, baby. I’ll always be in your bed. Even when you’re married to someone else, I’ll be the one who puts a kid in you. I’ll be the one who has your love. I’ll be the one who’ll grow old with you. Think about it, okay? Forget that we’re step-siblings. Forget everything I’ve done in the past and just… fucking love me back.
Bile rises in my throat, the bubble I’ve been hiding in since flying to America finally bursting. My reality is that when I go home, Chris can control me again. His hold on me has loosened right now, but if I attempt to run, he’ll find me.
And if I tell Kade, Chris will hurt him.
Chris is the reason my life is upside down, and I don’t want to risk him getting worse.
I somehow managed to tell Tobias a snippet of the truth, but getting the words out to Kade? Impossible.
“Can you call an Uber?” Kade’s deep voice travels through the bathroom door.
I can still feel each inch of him inside me, and I’m exhausted from how many times he made me orgasm. I reckon I have bruises between my thighs from how hard he pounded into me too.
I’m so fucking confused with it all.
All I keep thinking is that it might mean something to me, but he hates me. It terrifies me that I’m just going to break my own heart, because I meant it when I said we can’t be together.
It would be far too toxic. No relationship should have secrets.
There is no future with Kade Mitchell.
I call an Uber, and I try not to let the fresh, dressed and dangerously handsome Kade affect me as he walks out with damp hair hanging over his forehead, fixing his collar.
He stops dead when he sees me staring. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, eyes following him as he picks up his expensive watch from the bedside table. He clips it around his wrist, checking the time, then inspecting the small crack on his phone screen.
“Where exactly are we going? There’s a place across the street that sells phone chargers.”
“I’m not charging my phone,” he says, tossing the dead iPhone onto the bedside unit again. “I’ll do it later. I’m going to rent a car; I can use it to drop you off at the airport.”
“Why?”
Why are you even here? You hate me. Every harsh word you’ve sent my way proves that. I’m dead to you, remember?
He only shrugs. “I won’t try to fuck you again, if that’s your issue.”
I roll my eyes. “My issue is that a couple of weeks ago I was nothing but dirt to you. Are you still drunk?” I walk to stand in front of him as he sits on the edge of the bed, putting on his shoes. “Is that why you’re tolerating me?”
I want to throw the lamp off his head as he laughs and replies, “Probably.”
“You know what? I’m not doing this.” I gesture between us, holding eye contact as annoyance seeps into my bones. “Me and you are over. You made sure of that when you left me. So what the hell are you doing now, Kade?”
He stands, towering over me. “Why are you here? Why did you leave the airport to come get me?”
“You needed help,” I reply, crossing my arms in front of me. “Don’t answer my question with a question.”
Kade steps forward, and I step back. “I want you to answer it. I treat you like shit, so why did you come for me?”
Another step forward from him, and one back from me. I breathe deeply until my back hits the door. He doesn’t stop until he’s right there, toe to toe, an inch away.
I flinch as he lifts his hand to touch my cheek, but he stops when he sees my eyes screwed shut. It’s an instinct I’ve picked up from Chris attacking me every chance he gets. He’s had me in this position several times.
Kade notices my reflex, instead resting his hand on the door next to my head. “Answer me, Stacey.”
His eyes are so beautiful, light like his father’s. But they’re also troubled and tired. My voice is quiet as I say, “I’m allowed to still care for you.”
Knocked into silence, Kade’s brows knit together.
My phone dings, and I slip away from him. “I’m not the snake you think I am. Despite what you think, I care. Probably more than I should.”
I open the door and walk out, and Kade follows.
