The rest of the weekend is a whirlwind of pain and knotting.
My heat is shorter than I expected, but no less intense. Taking heat suppressant pills religiously for four years did nothing to quell the relentless appetite I’ve had for these alphas. I can’t deny that I’ve missed having sex.
I wake early on Monday morning, nestled between the alphas.
Damon is on my right, his arm draped across my middle. Max is on my left, one hand cupping my breast, and Gunnar is below me, his head resting between my thighs. I’m warm and comfortable, and I can hardly believe that my nest made of old books is so cozy. My pussy tingles at the thought and care my alphas put into making this nest for me, but my blood cools at the label I’ve assigned to them in my head.
My alphas.
They’re not mine. I barely even know them.
Sure, I had the best sex of my life this weekend, but it was with strangers. Embarrassment crawls up my chest, and my face suddenly heats.
What have I done? This isn’t who I am at all.
I don’t have sex with random alphas, and I certainly don’t have sex with a pack that isn’t mine. Three hot alphas walking into my library isn’t an excuse for me to throw away the carefully crafted life I’ve built for myself here.
I don’t want another pack. I don’t need one.
Damon stirs next to me, and I flinch away when he tries to nuzzle into my neck.
“Lena?” he mumbles, still half asleep.
I hate how utterly captivating he looks just waking up. It’s so different from the cool, calm, and collected alpha he usually presents. Gunnar sits up and stretches, his abs glistening in the sunlight. Max yawns, running a hand through his luscious hair.
No, Lena! I chastise myself. They’re not yours.
“What’s wrong?” Damon asks, sitting up and hugging me, but I extract myself from his embrace.
I shuffle toward the edge of the nest.
It’s cold being away from them, and my heart aches at the confusion on their faces, but I know I have to be strong. I have to do this for my future, even though I hate it.
“Thank you for the weekend,” I say, clearing my throat. They start to tense, knowing there’s a ‘but’ coming. “But this, whatever it was, is over. I had a lot of fun, but nothing else can happen between us. I appreciate you for helping me through my heat.”
At first, they’re silent, just staring at me, and then they all start talking at once.
“Lena, honey…”
“Are you serious right now?”
“Baby, you can’t say things like that! You’re part of our pack.”
“I’m serious, guys,” I say, shivering as I cross my arms over my chest. “I know you’re disappointed, but it’s for the best. It’s what I want.”
“No way,” Max says vehemently, shaking his head and looking hurt. “I don’t believe you. What the four of us shared was incredible. I don’t understand why you want to throw it all away. We’re fated to be together. Don’t you feel the bond between us? I know you feel it too, Lena.”
Damon remains quiet, watching me intensely, which makes me shrink, but I have to stand my ground.
Max is right. I do feel the attraction between us, but I can’t allow myself to think about what that means.
Alphas are dangerous. They’re trying to trap me.
“Max, I understand what you’re saying, but—”
“Lena,” Gunnar cuts in. “It could be that you didn’t feel the attraction right away. Sometimes that happens. If that’s the case, maybe you should spend more time with us and give it a chance. Give us a chance to bond.”
My heart starts to race with panic.
“No!” I say sharply, barely stopping myself from shouting. I don’t want to make them suspicious, but the panic I feel at the mention of bonding makes me feel physically ill.
I can’t do it.
“We won’t force you to do anything you don’t want,” Damon says in a low voice. The three alphas look at me as if I am their whole world, and now I’m disappointing them.
My heart aches, and it practically hurts right now. Glancing at the clock on the wall near the front door, I jump up when I see the time.
It’s almost eight o’clock, and Annabelle and Paige will be here soon to get the library ready to open at nine.
“I think you should leave now,” I say, backing away from them. “My co-workers will be here any minute, and I don’t want them to see the mess we’ve made.”
“Will we ever see you again?” Damon asks. He’s been quiet, his expression carefully neutral, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. “Can we at least help you get this place cleaned up?”
I shake my head quickly.
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say, rechecking the time. My panic rises when I see how little time I have left to get the library in order.
Gunnar looks upset that Damon isn’t forcing me to be their omega.
“Lena,” Gunnar starts.
“Please, I need you to leave,” I beg, pointing a shaking hand at the door. “I don’t have much time.”
Max and Gunnar start to protest, but Damon holds up a hand, silencing their objections.
“Enough,” he says sternly, and the other two fall silent. “We will respect Lena and her wishes. If she wants us to leave, then we will.”
He stands, and Max and Gunnar follow suit. The silence is unbearable as they begin to pick up their things, which are scattered haphazardly all over the floor.
Once they’ve dressed, Damon turns to me and nods before walking to the front door and pulling it open.
“Goodbye, Lena,” says Max, hugging me one last time.
“Bye,” I say without looking at him, not wanting to change my mind. The three alphas walk resolutely into the weak sunshine outside, shutting the door behind them.
The silence in the library after the door has closed is suffocating, made worse by the realization that I now have to clean up.
I look at the mess on the floor, my stomach sinking.
The carpet is strewn with torn books and papers covered in a mixture of our cum and sweat. Somehow, a couple of blankets from the lost and found also made their way into our nest.
Glancing at the clock, I run to the break room to grab a black plastic bag. I work quickly, shoving papers and ruined books into the bag, ensuring nothing is left behind. The storage room also contains some cleaning supplies. After tidying up there, I move swiftly around the library, making sure to eliminate any evidence of my heat and knotting.
Frantically, I spray air freshener throughout the library, hoping to mask the scent until I can open the front door and a few windows.
My human co-workers probably won’t notice the smell, but I want to ensure all traces of my weekend heat are gone.
The books that survived Damon, Max, and Gunnar’s onslaughts are stacked into piles and returned to the storeroom, where I find my blue dress stained and slightly torn. Thankfully, I keep a spare hoodie in the break room, which I quickly slip on over my clothes, hoping it will conceal the stains.
I should throw away my dress and eliminate any reminders of the alphas. But their scent lingers only on this dress, and I’m reluctant to part with the one piece that encapsulates the most exciting weekend I’ve ever had.
After the library is clean and I’m satisfied that I haven’t left any incriminating evidence, I open the front door and head to my car.
I’ve barely taken two steps when I spot Annabelle coming down the street. I freeze, hoping she hasn’t seen me.
Fortunately, she seems lost in her own world as she glances down at her phone, so I rush back inside and decide to use the back door instead. My car is parked in front of the library, but I can’t get to it without running into Annabelle, so I will have to wait until she enters the library.
After a few minutes, the coast is finally clear, and I sneak around the side of the building toward the front.
My car is parked in the lot, and I quickly check my surroundings before hurrying forward.
A black sedan I hadn’t noticed starts to drive toward me as I get closer to my car, prompting me to quicken my steps, determined to get inside and away from whoever is in the other vehicle.
The sedan stops, and Damon gets out from the driver’s side, standing by the door of my car. Part of me is relieved that he hasn’t left, but a larger part is panicked that he has stuck around to see me off.
“What are you doing?” I ask, clutching my keys tightly. “I thought I told you to leave!”
“I want to know why you don’t want to see us again,” he replies bluntly. “Max and Gunnar are right. We know you felt the attraction between all of us.”
I stay silent, unsure how to answer without exposing myself. I don’t want to reveal my true feelings because it might make him try harder.
I don’t know if I can trust him.
“Come on, Lena,” he urges. “How can you shut me out after everything we shared this weekend? I want to see you again, and I know the others do, too. We’re fated to be together.”
He steps out of his car, and my heart flutters wildly. Then he cups my chin in his hand.
Electricity sizzles beneath my skin at his touch, making my heart skip a beat.
I can feel the fire burning between us, waiting to become a raging inferno given half the chance. The wild and reckless part of me wants nothing more than to dance in the flames, but my cautious side, the one that’s been burned before, is reluctant to get too close.
Reluctantly, I pull away from his grasp and step back, wanting distance between us.
“I guess you’re just not my type,” I finally say, knowing it’s a bald-faced lie. Damon’s eyes darken, and a low growl escapes his lips. “Please leave me alone, Damon. I don’t want to see you or your pack ever again.”
It feels like I’ve chipped pieces of my heart away with my words. My chest aches, and tears sting my eyes.
I don’t understand what’s happening to me. After my ex-pack dumped me and left me for dead, it hurt, but it didn’t feel like this. This feels like I’ve clawed my own heart out and shoved it through a meat grinder. I take a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall.
I need to be strong.
Damon stares at me, probably wondering if I’m lying. His face darkens, and the pain in my heart intensifies at the hurt that crosses his eyes.
“Alright,” he says after a beat. He steps aside, allowing me to open my car door. “I respect your decision, then, Lena. Can I give you my number in case you change your mind?”
“Sure,” I reply before getting into the car. I pulled out my phone and quickly typed in his number.
“Call me if you need anything at all,” he says firmly, and I nod before closing the car door.
Slamming the door shut, I stare straight ahead, not turning around when he walks away. I don’t look back when I hear his car start up again.
He drives out of the parking lot, taking my heart with him. Breathing hard, I lay my forehead on the steering wheel, finally allowing my tears to fall.
